'Taaruf' -PART 1-

A lot has been going around me lately. But have no time to write in blog, so there are mountains of stories to b told. This is my story, my way, my path of life~well this IS my blog anyway

February 19, 2011

Taaruf Day. It was Saturday and I was goin to meet a guy named Fadhil, accompanied by the match-making couple husband n wife, Mr n MRS Im. I came to meet this man with the sole purpose of marriage. And he also came with the same purpose. Many people might b wondering what is taaruf. Taaruf means ‘berkenalan’. In this case, the terms taaruf that I used is ‘berkenalan untuk berkahwin’.

No fooling around. It’s really for a serious matter-which is marriage.

Im a MUSLIM. And I want to follow the right way , which is the ISLAMIC WAY in everything we do. In Islam, there is nothing like fooling around, coupling here and there, dating here and there.  Jika perkahwinan dan cinta itu dimulakan dengan sesuatu yang Allah tak redha, I wonder apakah kesudahannya? Tiada kebahagiaan? Lahirnya anak2 yang super degil? Wallahua’lam, semuanya di tangan Allah. Kite buat je perkara yang DIA redhai inshaAllah, perkara yang baik akan menyusul kemudian.

So sambung cter, on that beautiful Saturday evening, we met (the four of us- fadhil, me, mr Im, mrs Im). Mr im act as a moderator. Mase tu I rase macam duduk kat forum pulak. The taaruf started with fadhil. He introduced himself, his family, his life, his work, his interests, etc…  when he was telling me his stories, I asked a few questions (macam bersembang lah). After he has finished, I then told him my stories, all about myself. During ‘taaruf’ session, we can ask anything we want. Any questions that we want to hear the answer so that we can convince ourselves to marry this guy/girl.

For Fadhil, he asked me, “what is your manhaj?”. He also asked questions to test out my aqidah. He wanted to make sure that im on the right path, and hold onto the right aqidah. Alhamdulillah, lepas lah test dy tu haha. Aha there was this question he asked to test my way of thinking:

“apa pendapat awak kalau berkahwin lain fikrah. Contohnya yang lelaki tabligh, yang perempuan pulak PAS. Sebab banyak kes yang berlaku, bila berkahwin lain fikrah tu, jadi pertembungan antara suami n isteri..”

I answered:

“it depends on the individual. If u ask me, I will say that perkahwinan lain fikrah takde masalah. May it be between tabligh n PAS, Tabligh and IKRAM, or PAS and IKRAM. As long as dua2 pihak terbuka, xdelah masalah. Sebabnye, yang membezakan antara fikrah2 tu ialah cara diorang. Masing2 pun tujuannye utk Islam, untuk Dakwah, untuk kebangkitan Islam. Tapi cara yang dorg gune utk capai matlamat tu berbeza. Jadi selagi mana mereka tetap berpegang pada aqidah yang betul, tetap berada di landasan yang betul, berlapang dada lah.. Hormati cara mereka. X payahla sampai nk gaduh. Masing2 kne open, berlapang dada..”

For my part, antara soalan yg ditanya adelah:

ME: saya selalu g usrah setiap minggu.. kadang2 malam, kadang2 siang.. kalau kte kawen, awak bagi tak saya g usrah? (niat di hati, kalau dy x bagi, tanak terima dy)

HIM: bagi je…saya pun ada ikut usrah sebenarnya..hehe. jadi takde masalah.

(dalam hati masa tu rasa sgt syukur dan relieved.. Alhamdulillah!)

ME: skg ni kan saye bekerja as a cekgu. Apa awak kata if one day after kawen, saya nak berenti keje n jadi suri rumah?

HIM: x kesah.. kalau awak nak keje saya bagi.. kalau awak taknak keje pun saya bagi.

(dalam hati: YES! Aku malas nak keje dah nanti)

ME: Ade niat nak berpoligami tak? Minta maaf, saye bukan mengharamkan poligami. Dalam islam mmg boleh. Tapi saya yang tak cukup kuat untuk berada disituasi tu. Trauma dah lepas tgk abah wat centu kat ummi. Jadi awak ade niat utk berpoligami tak?

HIM: haha. Takde pun.

(harap Allah benar2 jauhkan aku dari ujian tu….huhu… amen..)

Ok stakat ini sajelah untuk first part ‘TAARUF’. Will get back to u later and sambung part 2 inshaAllah

Goodbye mr blog.

wassalam