'Taaruf' -PART 2-

 Mase mule2 nak g taaruf, melangkah masuk ke kedai makan tu first time ternampak Fadhil, hati aku secara spontan berbisik:

“this man is my future husband”

Ntah kenape benda tu terdetik di hati. Otomatik hati kata macam tu. As if there was a strong force that made my heart said that.

After the taaruf session ended, both of us agree to do istikharaa first before giving out the answer of whether to go on to next step together or stop rite there.

Daripada waktu taaruf sampailah lepas selesai taaruf dan pulang… my feelings were..

NOTHING.

ZERO.

EMPTY.

SPEECHLESS. – really didn’t know how to respond or how to act when Mr Im asked me my responds. Didn’t know what to say.

Eventhough I felt nothing, but it felt like sumthing was pulling me—to him.

I once asked my mom:

“kalau nak kawen kene ade rase suke ke?”

Mom:

“kene lah ade rase suke sikit.”

So lepas balik dari taaruf tu, I was in some kind of dilemma and worries. It was all because I have NOTHING for him. Absolutely NOTHING.  I thought:

I don’t even have the slightest bit of ‘like’ or feelings for him. So how am I going to marry him? What if I still have no feelings for him even after we get married? What if the feelings do not develop? How am I to live my whole life with him? Mcm mana nak layan suami tu dengan penuh kasih sayang jika xde rase sayang? Terasa berdosa jika x sayangkan dy dan berpura-pura…  Sangat takut jika xdapat sayangkan suami tu.. sangat takut jika tak memberikan hak seorang suami tu padanya (which is love).

I was confused. I then did my istikharaa and prayed to Allah a lot. I asked Allah to show me what should I do, to clear the clouds in my mind. I really didn’t  know what to think or what answer shud I give..

Alhamdulillah..praise to Allah, HE answered my prayers and showed me the way.

HE sent me the answers through a friend. I was shocked by my friend’s words, but it really clears out the clouds! When I was reading Quran, I also came to a few ayahs that showed me the way.

I thought that that might be the answer from Allah. That’s what Allah wants me to do.

Alhamduilillah… with every helps from Allah, I felt determined to make a decision and Alhamdulillah, I came to remember my intention of marriage. Mase aku tengah confuse confuse tu, aku terlupa pada NIAT asalku. Aku terlupa tujuan aku ingin berkahwin…dan aku terlupa…bahawa ..

ALLAH YANG MEMEGANG HATI-HATI KITA. DIA YANG MENENTUKAN SETIAP RASA YANG HADIR PADA HATI.

Jadi kenapa perlu risau? Jika kite bernikah kerana Allah, jika niat itu bersih keranaNYA, Allah pasti akan hadirkan cinta untuk suami isteri itu selepas berkahwin. Allah pasti akan memberikan barakahNYA pada pasangan yang bernikah kerana Allah.

HAVE FAITH IN ALLAH AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE!

FAITH. Yes that was what lack in me when I want to make the decision. Faith in Allah. Keyakinan adalah keimanan. Benda tu perlu ade pada kite.

Kini. Aku dah YAKIN!

I felt confident to gave Fadhil my answer. And ape yang bestnye, aku merasa tenang dengan decision yang aku buat. Aku merasa tenang untuk menerimanya, merasa tenang untuk menjadi permaisurinya!

So I sent an SMS tu Mr Im (our perantara):

“ I did an istikharaa. Alhamdulillah, rase OK. If mr Fadhil is willing to take my hand on marriage, then I will gratefully accept his hand.”

A few days after that I received a call from Mr Im. He said that Fadhil has gave his answer and decided to take my hand!

Alhamdulillah

Aku bersujud syukur.

Dan doaku moge Allah mudahkan perjalanan ini..

Jika ia baik untukku, Allah pasti memudahkan ia buatku..

Amen.

May Allah bless you! 


 love, 
The princess

'Taaruf' -PART 1-

A lot has been going around me lately. But have no time to write in blog, so there are mountains of stories to b told. This is my story, my way, my path of life~well this IS my blog anyway

February 19, 2011

Taaruf Day. It was Saturday and I was goin to meet a guy named Fadhil, accompanied by the match-making couple husband n wife, Mr n MRS Im. I came to meet this man with the sole purpose of marriage. And he also came with the same purpose. Many people might b wondering what is taaruf. Taaruf means ‘berkenalan’. In this case, the terms taaruf that I used is ‘berkenalan untuk berkahwin’.

No fooling around. It’s really for a serious matter-which is marriage.

Im a MUSLIM. And I want to follow the right way , which is the ISLAMIC WAY in everything we do. In Islam, there is nothing like fooling around, coupling here and there, dating here and there.  Jika perkahwinan dan cinta itu dimulakan dengan sesuatu yang Allah tak redha, I wonder apakah kesudahannya? Tiada kebahagiaan? Lahirnya anak2 yang super degil? Wallahua’lam, semuanya di tangan Allah. Kite buat je perkara yang DIA redhai inshaAllah, perkara yang baik akan menyusul kemudian.

So sambung cter, on that beautiful Saturday evening, we met (the four of us- fadhil, me, mr Im, mrs Im). Mr im act as a moderator. Mase tu I rase macam duduk kat forum pulak. The taaruf started with fadhil. He introduced himself, his family, his life, his work, his interests, etc…  when he was telling me his stories, I asked a few questions (macam bersembang lah). After he has finished, I then told him my stories, all about myself. During ‘taaruf’ session, we can ask anything we want. Any questions that we want to hear the answer so that we can convince ourselves to marry this guy/girl.

For Fadhil, he asked me, “what is your manhaj?”. He also asked questions to test out my aqidah. He wanted to make sure that im on the right path, and hold onto the right aqidah. Alhamdulillah, lepas lah test dy tu haha. Aha there was this question he asked to test my way of thinking:

“apa pendapat awak kalau berkahwin lain fikrah. Contohnya yang lelaki tabligh, yang perempuan pulak PAS. Sebab banyak kes yang berlaku, bila berkahwin lain fikrah tu, jadi pertembungan antara suami n isteri..”

I answered:

“it depends on the individual. If u ask me, I will say that perkahwinan lain fikrah takde masalah. May it be between tabligh n PAS, Tabligh and IKRAM, or PAS and IKRAM. As long as dua2 pihak terbuka, xdelah masalah. Sebabnye, yang membezakan antara fikrah2 tu ialah cara diorang. Masing2 pun tujuannye utk Islam, untuk Dakwah, untuk kebangkitan Islam. Tapi cara yang dorg gune utk capai matlamat tu berbeza. Jadi selagi mana mereka tetap berpegang pada aqidah yang betul, tetap berada di landasan yang betul, berlapang dada lah.. Hormati cara mereka. X payahla sampai nk gaduh. Masing2 kne open, berlapang dada..”

For my part, antara soalan yg ditanya adelah:

ME: saya selalu g usrah setiap minggu.. kadang2 malam, kadang2 siang.. kalau kte kawen, awak bagi tak saya g usrah? (niat di hati, kalau dy x bagi, tanak terima dy)

HIM: bagi je…saya pun ada ikut usrah sebenarnya..hehe. jadi takde masalah.

(dalam hati masa tu rasa sgt syukur dan relieved.. Alhamdulillah!)

ME: skg ni kan saye bekerja as a cekgu. Apa awak kata if one day after kawen, saya nak berenti keje n jadi suri rumah?

HIM: x kesah.. kalau awak nak keje saya bagi.. kalau awak taknak keje pun saya bagi.

(dalam hati: YES! Aku malas nak keje dah nanti)

ME: Ade niat nak berpoligami tak? Minta maaf, saye bukan mengharamkan poligami. Dalam islam mmg boleh. Tapi saya yang tak cukup kuat untuk berada disituasi tu. Trauma dah lepas tgk abah wat centu kat ummi. Jadi awak ade niat utk berpoligami tak?

HIM: haha. Takde pun.

(harap Allah benar2 jauhkan aku dari ujian tu….huhu… amen..)

Ok stakat ini sajelah untuk first part ‘TAARUF’. Will get back to u later and sambung part 2 inshaAllah

Goodbye mr blog.

wassalam