err.. ENGAGED??

In the name of Allah the most merciful

After the families meeting, I asked fadhil about her mother’s , father’s and sister’s opinion on me and my family. His father’s and sister’s responds were positive. But for the mother, she still didn’t give the answer. Fadhil said, she just smiled.

The next day fadhil told me that her mother got good impressions on me. Alhamdulillah. But still not very sure whether she give the green light or not. I asked fadhil what were her mother’s expectations before meeting me. He said, her mother said:

“nak tengoklah ana ni pakai tudung ke tak, solat ke tak, baik budi pekerti ke tak…”

Expectations mak mertua selalunya ni je ek? Kalau ni je kan bagus.. senang sikit hehe. Actually im afraid if one day when im married, I cant get along well with my in-law. Ramai org yg hubungan dengan mak mertua tak berape baik…takut jugak nak berhadapan dengan situasi macam tu..

Huhu… May Allah make everything easy for me…

Kesimpulannye after the meeting of both families, me and fadhil concluded that both families had agreed to let us get married. For now Me and fadhil also agreed to take our relationship as ‘ENGAGED’, so that if anyone approach me or him, we can just tell them that we’re engaged. Its easier to turn down people’s proposal this way, because you have the strong reason to turn it down-which is engaged. Sebelum ni aku agak susah nak say NO bile org approach. Sebabnye rase tak sampai hati. Tapi sekarang dah rase senang hati nak say NO ^_^

ENGAGED-is not a special period. Selagi tak nikah, sama je. Kene jage hubungan antara lelaki dan perempuan.. engaged-tak membolehkan kite untuk g dating pun.. atau bergayut setiap malam, atau ber-sayang-sayangan atau bersentuh-sentuhan atau ber-smoochies smoochies. jadi, soalan cepumas.. nape ramai org suke wat majlis bertunang yang meriah2? Kadang2 nampak da macam majlis org kawen. Wow. Maybe they have their own reasons or gaya berfikir yang berbeza.. Hmm mungkin juge majlis tu mcm untuk meraikan hari yang menggembirakan dan lebih kurang mcm kesyukuran? (kena buat soal selidik untuk tahu). As for me, I think its better not to waste so much money into that, and instead save it for your BIG DAY-hari kawen. If your money is melimpah ruah pun kan, its better to save it for ur future big-family-to-be.

Actually I told fadhil that I taknak bertunang. But if family dy insist, then I will follow their wish. Many people might ask me, WHY TAKNAK TUNANG?? Even my besties pun kata bertunang jelah~

Bertunang tak salah disisi Islam. Tak salah langsung. The reason is just ME. I think it’s too TROUBLESOME nak buat majlis bertunang. Nak ada sarung2 cincin, pakai baju cantik2, etc… I don’t see any need to do that. I really don’t like to tire myself out for such buang-mase-things. Moreover, tak suke pakai cincin. Nanti nak amik wudhu’, nak basuh pinggan ape sumer tu kene bukak cincin. Then bile da siap, terlupe la pulak nak pakai balik. Pastu cincin pun ilang…~

So last2 both of us decided camni. If fadhil’s family insist nak bertunang, ok boleh bertunang.. tapi tak ikut adat org melayu bertunang. Maksudnye takyah wat majlis2. Just between family, takde baju2 cantik atau pelamin what-so-ever, err cincin tu pn kalo dpt tak pakai kot-so beli cincin murah je.  Pastu takde hantaran2 langsung. Kire dtg bwk cincin je. Simple rite? Yeah I loike! Hehe.

Daaa. Enuff for now. Wassalam!

May Allah bless you! 


 love, 
The princess

Meeting of the TWO families

In the name of Allah the Almighty

March 12, 2011 (Saturday nite)

Fadhil and his parents came to my house. My dad also invited our relatives over for dinner and he told them that …

“keluarga fadhil nak datang MERISIK ana”

“Merisik? Oh baru tahu ni namenye merisik eh?” I asked makngah.

Haha. Truly, taktau ni namenye merisik. I just tahu yang parents fadhil nak datang umah kenal2 dengan me and my family. That’s all.

They (fadhil n parents+sister) arrived at our house quite late. At about 21:15 because they had their dinner first before came to our house. Sigh~ they forgot that abah has invited them over for dinner. Fadhil was the only one who hadn’t had his dinner ahead.

Nervous? Nope. Tak rase nervous pun.

Mase mule2 dorg sampai, I x sambut pun dorg kat pintu.. mom and dad yang sambut. Then after a while, I showed up. Jeng jeng jeng ketibaan bakal menantu yang ayu lagi sopan!! Haha. I was wearing a white purple baju kurung. And so, heading towards the battle field (lounge where all of them seated together).

First skali Nampak fadhil. I looked at him (he was also looking at me) and I bowed my head a bit while smiling. Dup..dap..dup..dap… what the heck. My heart was beating so fast. That was the first time I felt something special towards fadhil. Pelik. Kenape tetibe rase sesuatu dekat dy? Padahal sebelum ni memang xde rase pape langsung. Rase perasaan kpd seorang kawan pn tade. Mase fadhil 1^st time datang umah jumpe ummi abah, I greeted him kat pintu pagar (that was the first time he came over to our house. Dy pn tak sure umah ktorg yg mane). I invited him inside and also hidangkan air kat ummi abah n fadhil. At that time, my feelings were ZERO. Nak tau tak rase macam ape? Rase macam sambut kawan kakak datang rumah. As if benda2 yang berlaku tu takde kene mengena dengan aku. Bukanlah nak suruh kena ada perasaan ape2. Tapi, nak tunjuk yang betul2 tak berperasaan, nervous ke ape ke memang takde. Seolah-olah macam fadhil tu datang umah untuk nak kawen ngan kakak, bukan ngan aku. Tak terase penting or what-so-ever.  Hohoho.

But this time…it felt different… he made my heart beat faster than usual. I think that was when I developed a little feelings towards him.

After  greeted fadhil (greeted by bowing my head), I greeted her mother and sister. Salam tangan with a smiled. But no words. Then greeted his father with a bow. Pastu g duduk dekat sebelah ummi (this time kena join the company). Mase tu rase malu sket. Sebab sume tengok i. huhu. Blushing.

After my mom n dad sembang sikit2 with his mom and dad, my parents invited them for dinner. Mase tu baru tau yang dorg dah makan. Tapi terpaksalah dorg makan lagi sekali. Masa tengah hiding-hidang makanan kat tempat perempuan makan, fadhil’s mother asked:

“ana ke yang masak?”

My mom answered:

“tak, dy demam hari ni”

Yes, sepanjang siang tu I tito. Memang demam pun sejak semalam. Kepale pening2 jadi tak dapat nak tolong masak.

After dinner, I served the guests with chocolate cake(made by my sis). When I served the men’s table, rasa nak pandang fadhil. OMG what have gotten into me?? Asyik rasa nak pandang. But I stopped myself from doing so. Kena jaga pandangan! And also, I don’t want to develop anymore feelings for him. Not before we declared as husband and wife. So concentrate jelah buat keje. Kang cake jatuh kau jugak yang malu.

The men and women duduk separately. I sat at the lounge with ummi, fadhil’s mom and sister, makngah, mak uda and wanchik. The conversation started. Yang banyak bersembang was kakak fadhil je. His mom tak banyak cakap.. memang pendiam kot. Tapi banyak kali fadhil’s mom pandang aku! Perasan je tapi buat-buat tak perasan haha. After some time mak uda duduk sebelah fadhil’s mom and sembang2 dengan dy. While the other semua sembang dengan kakak fadhil.

The ‘kenal-kenal’ event went well till 23:30. Fadhil’s family went home.. tutup tirai dah.. fuuh penat melayan tetamu.

After fadhil’s family dah balek, mak uda pun mulalah bukak cerita, hasil sembang2 dy dengan ummi fadhil. A few questions that his mom asked were:

ummiFadhil: Ana ngan Fadhil tu selalu ke keluar eh? Dah berapa kali dorg keluar dating?

Makuda: Eh takdelah. Setahu saya dorg tak pernah keluar2 ni. Ana tu pun bukan jenis yang keluar2 sangat.

UmmiFadhil: yeke.. baguslah Alhamdulillah… macam mana dorg kenal? Melalui kawan ke?

Makuda: mungkin lah kot.. yang tu saya pn tak sempat nak Tanya dengan ana.

UmmiFadhil: sebelum ni fadhil tak pernah kenalkan saya dengan mana2 perempuan.. dy memang takde lah siapa2 sebelum ni. Dy jenis yang tak berkawan dengan perempuan sangat, selalu g masjid, dengar ceramah, suka pada benda2 agama.. Tiba-tiba dy bagitahu saya yang hati dy dah terbuka nak kawen.. terkejut saya..

Makuda: oh yeke.. ana tu pun suka pegi2 dgr ceramah macam fadhil tu jugak. Padan sangatlah dorg tu. Eloklah kalau fadhil dah kata sedia nak kawen.. bagi jelah dy kawen..

Ummi fadhil:……………………………………

Aha another question yang fadhil’s mom kept asking was

“kenapa ana tak sambung belajar?”

Mak uda just said that I have my own reasons as to why. But she didn’t know exactly.

Yes. I do have my own reasons. If she (fadhil’s mom) becomes to be my mother-in-law, I will tell her later inshaAllah. But the truth is, bukan aku tak sambung blaja. I did. Degree in microbiology-UKM. But I didn’t finish it. I stopped half way. And I have my reasons =)

To be continued ^_^

May Allah bless you! 


 love, 
The princess

The Knight meets 'HER' parents

In the name of Allah the Almighty.

After both of us had decided to move on together to the next stage, I sent an sms to abah and ummi. I wrote:

“ummi, abah, ana nak kawen. To Fadhil, 29, an engineer.”

I purposely sent sms to abah because I really didn’t know how to tell him face to face. Me and abah are not used to duduk sembang2 about anything pun. Not so close in the eyes, but always close at heart J. Sebab mase kecik2 dulu dad selalu g outstation. And more, dy garang -_-. Jadi mase kecik dulu selalu takut je dengan abah bile dy ade kat rumah (-__-‘). So sampai bile dah besa camni, masih tak biasa nak cakap-cakap, sembang-sembang. Harap satu ari nanti, akan lebih rapat dengan abah. (my heart really wish for that day to come, where I can sit leisurely, telling stories and laughing humorously with him) oh dad~

After I sent the sms, mom gave a reply. She said:

“kalau agama dy baik, ummi ok je..”

I smiled.. Alhamdulillah J

I waited for abah’s reply…. But none came. Finally I get his reply the next morning.

His reply was:

“dy budak jamaah ke?”

……err……speechless….so this was the first question from abah. I really didn’t asked fadhil about his political stand. So I replied to abah saying that I don’t know. And I asked whether he wants to meet fadhil or not. He said “ok. Tunggu ummi balik”.

March 4, 2011 (Friday nite-8:30)

Fadhil came to my house (alone) to meet my parents.

I didn’t join the conversation so I didn’t really know the details. But according to fadhil, it was just a sembang-sembang, kenal-kenal. That’s all.

After the meeting I asked mom’s opinion on fadhil. Mom said

“ok lah, tak diam sangat, boleh masuk bersembang”

Then I asked ummi to ask abah terima fadhil ke tak. Again, I didn’t have the courage to ask him straight haha. Tak tau nak tanye camne kat abah. And more, malu nak tanye -__-

The next day..

Dad gave me the GREEN LIGHT!

Alhamdulillah everything went well so far..

So the next step in the next chapter is gonna b: ‘Meeting of the Two families’

May Allah bless you!


 love, 
The princess

'Taaruf' -PART 2-

 Mase mule2 nak g taaruf, melangkah masuk ke kedai makan tu first time ternampak Fadhil, hati aku secara spontan berbisik:

“this man is my future husband”

Ntah kenape benda tu terdetik di hati. Otomatik hati kata macam tu. As if there was a strong force that made my heart said that.

After the taaruf session ended, both of us agree to do istikharaa first before giving out the answer of whether to go on to next step together or stop rite there.

Daripada waktu taaruf sampailah lepas selesai taaruf dan pulang… my feelings were..

NOTHING.

ZERO.

EMPTY.

SPEECHLESS. – really didn’t know how to respond or how to act when Mr Im asked me my responds. Didn’t know what to say.

Eventhough I felt nothing, but it felt like sumthing was pulling me—to him.

I once asked my mom:

“kalau nak kawen kene ade rase suke ke?”

Mom:

“kene lah ade rase suke sikit.”

So lepas balik dari taaruf tu, I was in some kind of dilemma and worries. It was all because I have NOTHING for him. Absolutely NOTHING.  I thought:

I don’t even have the slightest bit of ‘like’ or feelings for him. So how am I going to marry him? What if I still have no feelings for him even after we get married? What if the feelings do not develop? How am I to live my whole life with him? Mcm mana nak layan suami tu dengan penuh kasih sayang jika xde rase sayang? Terasa berdosa jika x sayangkan dy dan berpura-pura…  Sangat takut jika xdapat sayangkan suami tu.. sangat takut jika tak memberikan hak seorang suami tu padanya (which is love).

I was confused. I then did my istikharaa and prayed to Allah a lot. I asked Allah to show me what should I do, to clear the clouds in my mind. I really didn’t  know what to think or what answer shud I give..

Alhamdulillah..praise to Allah, HE answered my prayers and showed me the way.

HE sent me the answers through a friend. I was shocked by my friend’s words, but it really clears out the clouds! When I was reading Quran, I also came to a few ayahs that showed me the way.

I thought that that might be the answer from Allah. That’s what Allah wants me to do.

Alhamduilillah… with every helps from Allah, I felt determined to make a decision and Alhamdulillah, I came to remember my intention of marriage. Mase aku tengah confuse confuse tu, aku terlupa pada NIAT asalku. Aku terlupa tujuan aku ingin berkahwin…dan aku terlupa…bahawa ..

ALLAH YANG MEMEGANG HATI-HATI KITA. DIA YANG MENENTUKAN SETIAP RASA YANG HADIR PADA HATI.

Jadi kenapa perlu risau? Jika kite bernikah kerana Allah, jika niat itu bersih keranaNYA, Allah pasti akan hadirkan cinta untuk suami isteri itu selepas berkahwin. Allah pasti akan memberikan barakahNYA pada pasangan yang bernikah kerana Allah.

HAVE FAITH IN ALLAH AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE!

FAITH. Yes that was what lack in me when I want to make the decision. Faith in Allah. Keyakinan adalah keimanan. Benda tu perlu ade pada kite.

Kini. Aku dah YAKIN!

I felt confident to gave Fadhil my answer. And ape yang bestnye, aku merasa tenang dengan decision yang aku buat. Aku merasa tenang untuk menerimanya, merasa tenang untuk menjadi permaisurinya!

So I sent an SMS tu Mr Im (our perantara):

“ I did an istikharaa. Alhamdulillah, rase OK. If mr Fadhil is willing to take my hand on marriage, then I will gratefully accept his hand.”

A few days after that I received a call from Mr Im. He said that Fadhil has gave his answer and decided to take my hand!

Alhamdulillah

Aku bersujud syukur.

Dan doaku moge Allah mudahkan perjalanan ini..

Jika ia baik untukku, Allah pasti memudahkan ia buatku..

Amen.

May Allah bless you! 


 love, 
The princess

'Taaruf' -PART 1-

A lot has been going around me lately. But have no time to write in blog, so there are mountains of stories to b told. This is my story, my way, my path of life~well this IS my blog anyway

February 19, 2011

Taaruf Day. It was Saturday and I was goin to meet a guy named Fadhil, accompanied by the match-making couple husband n wife, Mr n MRS Im. I came to meet this man with the sole purpose of marriage. And he also came with the same purpose. Many people might b wondering what is taaruf. Taaruf means ‘berkenalan’. In this case, the terms taaruf that I used is ‘berkenalan untuk berkahwin’.

No fooling around. It’s really for a serious matter-which is marriage.

Im a MUSLIM. And I want to follow the right way , which is the ISLAMIC WAY in everything we do. In Islam, there is nothing like fooling around, coupling here and there, dating here and there.  Jika perkahwinan dan cinta itu dimulakan dengan sesuatu yang Allah tak redha, I wonder apakah kesudahannya? Tiada kebahagiaan? Lahirnya anak2 yang super degil? Wallahua’lam, semuanya di tangan Allah. Kite buat je perkara yang DIA redhai inshaAllah, perkara yang baik akan menyusul kemudian.

So sambung cter, on that beautiful Saturday evening, we met (the four of us- fadhil, me, mr Im, mrs Im). Mr im act as a moderator. Mase tu I rase macam duduk kat forum pulak. The taaruf started with fadhil. He introduced himself, his family, his life, his work, his interests, etc…  when he was telling me his stories, I asked a few questions (macam bersembang lah). After he has finished, I then told him my stories, all about myself. During ‘taaruf’ session, we can ask anything we want. Any questions that we want to hear the answer so that we can convince ourselves to marry this guy/girl.

For Fadhil, he asked me, “what is your manhaj?”. He also asked questions to test out my aqidah. He wanted to make sure that im on the right path, and hold onto the right aqidah. Alhamdulillah, lepas lah test dy tu haha. Aha there was this question he asked to test my way of thinking:

“apa pendapat awak kalau berkahwin lain fikrah. Contohnya yang lelaki tabligh, yang perempuan pulak PAS. Sebab banyak kes yang berlaku, bila berkahwin lain fikrah tu, jadi pertembungan antara suami n isteri..”

I answered:

“it depends on the individual. If u ask me, I will say that perkahwinan lain fikrah takde masalah. May it be between tabligh n PAS, Tabligh and IKRAM, or PAS and IKRAM. As long as dua2 pihak terbuka, xdelah masalah. Sebabnye, yang membezakan antara fikrah2 tu ialah cara diorang. Masing2 pun tujuannye utk Islam, untuk Dakwah, untuk kebangkitan Islam. Tapi cara yang dorg gune utk capai matlamat tu berbeza. Jadi selagi mana mereka tetap berpegang pada aqidah yang betul, tetap berada di landasan yang betul, berlapang dada lah.. Hormati cara mereka. X payahla sampai nk gaduh. Masing2 kne open, berlapang dada..”

For my part, antara soalan yg ditanya adelah:

ME: saya selalu g usrah setiap minggu.. kadang2 malam, kadang2 siang.. kalau kte kawen, awak bagi tak saya g usrah? (niat di hati, kalau dy x bagi, tanak terima dy)

HIM: bagi je…saya pun ada ikut usrah sebenarnya..hehe. jadi takde masalah.

(dalam hati masa tu rasa sgt syukur dan relieved.. Alhamdulillah!)

ME: skg ni kan saye bekerja as a cekgu. Apa awak kata if one day after kawen, saya nak berenti keje n jadi suri rumah?

HIM: x kesah.. kalau awak nak keje saya bagi.. kalau awak taknak keje pun saya bagi.

(dalam hati: YES! Aku malas nak keje dah nanti)

ME: Ade niat nak berpoligami tak? Minta maaf, saye bukan mengharamkan poligami. Dalam islam mmg boleh. Tapi saya yang tak cukup kuat untuk berada disituasi tu. Trauma dah lepas tgk abah wat centu kat ummi. Jadi awak ade niat utk berpoligami tak?

HIM: haha. Takde pun.

(harap Allah benar2 jauhkan aku dari ujian tu….huhu… amen..)

Ok stakat ini sajelah untuk first part ‘TAARUF’. Will get back to u later and sambung part 2 inshaAllah

Goodbye mr blog.

wassalam